Vision of Life

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Where there is no vision, the people perish: But he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” (Proverbs 29:18, KJV 1900)

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12, NIV) 

In KingdomNomics, we emphasize the wisdom of converting the perishable time, talent and treasure of this world into the imperishable values of the real world to come: eternity. 

In Psalm 90:12, we are taught to number our days in order to gain a heart of wisdom. The time will come when we will turn in the temporary body we are “leasing” during our life on earth. We do not have unlimited time to make decisions.

How many people do you know who have no purpose? Failure to develop a personal vision of life will result in a disaster from an eternal standpoint. Proverbs 29:18 says that people without a proper vision of life perish.

There is one appointment none of us will miss. That is the time when we must give an accounting of our life to our Maker:

For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:14, NIV) 

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:13, NIV) 

 This is a sobering fact to contemplate.

Fortunately, for the Christian, our sin is judged at the cross. When we become aware of an attitude, thought, or action we commit that is contrary to the will of God, we want to confess it and repent of it, so we can continue to enjoy communion with the Holy Spirit. 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) 

Today, ask yourself: 

Am I developing an eternal perspective of life? When I become aware of my sins, do I confess and repent?

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3 Distinct Differences Between Knowledge And Experience

I recently had an extended conversation with a business professor at Point University, a local Christian university, about what makes their program different from other business programs.  Of course, one obvious difference is the Christian perspectivethat is central to their mission.  However, he went into more detail about another attribute that addresses the gap between knowledge and experience in business.

Knowledge vs. experienceHave you ever had someone come to your business as an applicant or maybe even an outside salesperson?  You know the type…they insist on telling you how much they know about your business and how much they can help you.  However, as you dig further, you realize that knowledge is ALL they have.  As far as real life business experience, they have little or nothing to show.

How interested are you in listening to them spout off about their knowledge?  How much faith are you going to put into their ability to help you with your business challenges?  How long will you allow them to remain in your office?

The Need for Practical Experience

While this professor realizes that his graduates will not come out of college with a resume full of business experience, he also knows that giving his students a bucket-full of knowledge alone is not doing them a service.  For this reason, one of the most impressive components of this program is something Point University calls “Pracademics.”

In addition to classroom time, these students are assigned to teams and given real projects.  These projects are based on real challenges and problems identified in local businesses.  The student teams work in partnership with these local businesses to complete the projects in a way that is actually helpful to the businesses.  The students gain real-life business experience, relationships with local business leaders, and are then able to set themselves apart from the typical graduate with a business major!

The more I listened to all that is going on in the business department at Point University, the more I was impressed.  The leadership at this university truly understands the substantial difference between knowledge and experience…and they are doing something about it!

Your Knowledge vs. Experience

What about you?  Do you fully understand the difference between knowledge and experience?  Do you recognize the benefits of experience over knowledge?

I am sure most of us understand these differences and benefits when related to the business world.  However, I wonder if we are all applying this same understanding to our faith.

Do we seek more knowledge “about” God or do we desire to experience more of God?

It is my belief that God is not interested in how much we can learn about Him.  I do not think He measures our knowledge of Him or His ways.  Instead, the Bible indicates God desires a relationship with us.  He wants us to experience Him!

If you agree with me on this, then step back and take a look at your typical day or week.  Do you see evidence of your efforts to experience God?  Or does it look more like you are simply seeking gain knowledge about Him from various sources?

Experience Matters

I would encourage you to begin applying your energy to experiencing God.  I believe experience is not only superior to knowledge in the business world, but is also more valuable when it comes to our faith and relationship with God.  Please understand that I am not promoting experience without knowledge…they can go hand in hand!  I urge you to be sure you are not ignoring experience just because it might be more difficult to obtain.

There are many differences between experiencing God and just knowing about Him.  I have focused on three today, but I would suggest you take some time and add to this list on your own.  In doing so, you will likely see the need to adjust your focus!

The first difference I see is that we are all more eager to share something we have experienced.  Sure, it is sometimes fun to talk about something we have recently learned, but rarely are we so excited about knowledge gained that we can hardly restrain ourselves!

On the other hand, when we have an exciting experience, we are constantly looking for opportunities to share our experience with others around us!  If we are experiencing God on a regular basis, we are certainly more likely to be compelled to share that with people around us.  We are more likely to point others toward God due to our experience with Him rather than our knowledge about Him.

Stronger Ambassadors

Another difference is that knowledge is more easily argued.  It is much easier for someone to question or argue the truth of our knowledge about God.  Others can argue the facts we claim to know and believe.  It is more difficult for them to argue against what we have personally experienced with God.  Just like the blind man that Jesus healed, we do not have to KNOW everything about Him…just what we have experienced (John 9:25).  That is a more effective witness!

More Fulfilled

Finally, I think it is clear that experiencing God is much more fulfilling than gaining knowledge about Him.  When we learn a lesson from a story in the Bible, that is helpful.  When we learn a lesson from our first-hand experience with God, that is much more powerful.  Our lives are forever changed.  Which would you choose?

I hope you can see the difference between KNOWING God and just KNOWING ABOUT Him.  Begin looking for opportunities to experience Him in ways you have not in the past.  Pray that He will give you these experiences and draw you closer in relationship to Him.  You will be much better off having done so!

Photo by kurmyshov / iStock

Click Here to Comment 

More to read:

Is Your Work Meaningless?
Preach Like Billy Graham: 10 Ways To Live Out A Sermon At Work
Will I Offend Customers With My Christian Business?
Is Your Reputation Truly Accurate?
Are You Worthy Of Their Trust?

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Do You See Work as a Platform or a Prison?

Do You See Work as a Platform or a Prison?

By Chris Patton on Aug 06, 2017 09:30 pm

Too many Christians see their work as a prison.  It is a required part of their week, but it is not something they enjoy.  When asked for their reasons, the answers vary, but there is a recurring theme. Most view their work as a necessary evil instead of a source of joy and an opportunity for impact.  Very few would consider their work as a platform.

Prison Or Platform?

What are your thoughts?  Does this perspective resonate with you?  Do you see your work as a prison…maybe not all of the time, but often enough?  Have you stopped to think about how you could turn from that point of view and begin approaching work with a renewed sense of purpose?

Here’s the deal…God designed us for work from the very beginning.  Our work is not simply part of a fallen world.  In Genesis 2:15, we see a clear picture of this:

The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it.

Genesis 2:15

God’s Desires?

If God designed us to work from the beginning, do you think He intended it as a prison?  Do you think He may have another purpose in mind?  If we look at Colossians 3:23-24, I think it is clear that God wants us to serve Him in our work…and in anything else we do!

Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ.

Colossians 3:23-24

Assuming this is true, then how do you think God views our perspective on work as a prison?  Is it pleasing to Him for us to treat our jobs as a necessary evil in our lives?  Should we instead begin looking at how we can better “serve the Lord Christ” in our work?

Six Questions To Ask

I recently watched a message from Louie Giglio on this topic.  In this message, Giglio gave us six questions we should be asking if we want to change our thinking about our work; three of which I’ll discuss this week. Next week, we’ll discuss the rest. Warning: These questions may cause ridicule and confusing looks from those around you at work…especially if you have previously been jaded in your view of your work!  At the same time, if applied consistently, these questions can bring you joy and impact through your work!

Question #1 – What More Can I Give?

Most people, Christians included, default to asking how they can benefit more from their work.  Whether they seek more income, more time off, or more authority, the typical employee is seeking more for themselves.  This question turns that thinking on its head!

If we want to stop looking at our work as a prison, then we must begin asking what more we can GIVE!  We must look around the workplace and seek out opportunities to give more effort, more intensity, and more passion toward the work we do.  Don’t forget, we are serving the Lord Christ!

We have to figure out how to exceed the expectations of our employer or supervisors.  We must pray for wisdom about how to add more value to our company.  Our mindset has to shift from benefitting ourselves to improving and strengthening our workplace.

Question #2 – What More Can I Learn?

Most of us have gone through some sort of training in order to do our jobs.  Depending on your job, you may even have continuous education requirements. Unfortunately, for most employees, this is where the learning stops.  Instead of looking for new and uncommon ways to learn, most simply do what is required and nothing more.

If we are going to serve the Lord Christ in our jobs, then we must be determined to learn as much as we can.  We must seek out opportunities to grow in our understanding of our job, our company, and even our industry.  We cannot afford to stagnate and simply get by with the minimum required of us.

When is the last time you took the time to dig deeper into a topic related to your work…one that was not required of you?  How often do you carve out the time to expand your knowledge base for the sake of your team or company?  Can you imagine how much more value you could bring to your company if your knowledge was steadily increasing over time?

Question #3 – How Can I Personally Advance The Organizational Mission?

I don’t know the statistics, but I am betting most employees in most companies do not even know the mission of their organization.  Without casting blame, what do you think would happen if you began to work harder in areas that specifically promoted the mission of your team, department, or company?

While most people have never thought twice about their company’s mission, the one who is serving the Lord Christ should be focused on it.  Our efforts should reflect an understanding, buy-in, and engagement with the mission.  Job position, in this case, is irrelevant.  Whether leader or entry-level worker, everyone can work to advance the mission of their organization.

From Prison To Platform

I will cover the other three questions in my next post.  Before I do, I want to encourage you to take time to go through these first three questions and think hard about how the answers could change your entire outlook on work!  If you will dig deep into the answers to these questions, I guarantee your work will go from a prison to a platform!

Can you imagine if all Christians began changing their work perspective based on the answers to these questions?  Can you even dream of a world where employers asked their HR department, “Where can we find more Christians to hire?  They make the best employees and leaders!”

Determine right now that you are going to begin pushing toward that picture in your own workplace!  God will honor your efforts!

Photo by Artfoliophoto / iStock

Click Here to Comment 

More to read:

3 Distinct Differences Between Knowledge And Experience
Is Your Work Meaningless?
Preach Like Billy Graham: 10 Ways To Live Out A Sermon At Work
Will I Offend Customers With My Christian Business?
Is Your Reputation Truly Accurate?

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Will I Offend Customers With My Christian Business?

So your issue is this: “If I run my business according to my Christian faith, won’t that offend customers?  I cannot take that risk.”If you are seriously considering any Christian connection to your business, then this is certainly a question that has come up.

Offended customer

Either you thought of it or someone you know has tossed it up to you.  Either way, it is a valid question.  After all, based on the news and political issues all around us, it appears that the last thing you want to do is associate your business with anything Christian.  It is too polarizing, right?

Barna Group Study

Surprisingly, it is not as big an issue as you might think!  According to a study conducted by Barna Group (check out the details of the study here), the people that may be offended with any Christian connection to your business are actually a very small minority.  Let’s look at the results.

When asked in two different ways about the likelihood of their doing business with a company that was managed according to Christian principles or embraced and promoted the Christian faith, roughly 55% of these consumers indicated they were indifferent!  In other words, the connections to Christianity did not affect their buying decisions in either direction.  Of course, while this is good news, it really does not tell us what we want to know.  Let’s dig a little further.

How about those that would be more likely to do business with a Christian company?  These responses to the question made up roughly 40% of the total responses!  Two out of every five consumers surveyed said that a company’s connection to the Christian faith would make them more likely to do business with them.  In fact, almost 25% said they would be a lot more likely to do so!

Fantastic News!

I see both of these results as fantastic news!  While I do not believe we are to market and advertise our Christian faith in our business (some may argue this), I am glad to know that the vast majority of those who see the connection are either indifferent or more likely to do business with us!

So what percentage of the responses is left over?

How many people are less likely to do business with a Christian company?

According to the Barna Group study, only 3% – less than one in thirty – of the respondents said they would be less likely to do business with a company that has overt connections to Christianity.  Only 3%…is that really a large enough population to cause concern?

Our Experience

While I have not conducted an official study like Barna, I have been outspoken about the Christian foundation for our business for almost fourteen years now.  I have never been confronted by anyone claiming offense at our beliefs.  I have had a couple of email complaints (literally 2 or 3) stating they would not purchase from us due to our Christian witness.  I am also certain that we have had customers walk away, but just not voice their opinion.  I don’t doubt that at all.

But really, how many do you think make up that group?  If your experience DOUBLED that of the Barna study, would 6% kill your business?  Do you really fear the size of that group more than you trust God at His Word?  He promises to meet our needs (Philippians 4:19).  He promises if we will seek Him first, he will add “these things” (Matthew 6:33).  God is faithful to make good on His promises (Deuteronomy 7:9).  Trust Him to do just that!

What are you really afraid of?

Isn’t your God bigger than that fear?

What should be your next step?

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There is nothing wrong in saying NO (Healthy boundaries) Part 2

  Healthy boundaries  in a nutshell are the imaginary lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and protect our bodies, minds, emotions, and time from the behaviour or demands of others.

They provide the framework to keep us from being used or manipulated by others, and they allow us to confidently express who we are and what we want in life.

Personal boundaries allow us to be in the driver’s seat of our own lives. I also defined the 5 types of personal boundaries which are physical, mental, Spiritual, sexual, emotional….  

 (1)Frustration and resentment

When you do not have healthy boundaries you continually feel like you are being pushed around. You feel irritable, resentful, frustrated and the reason for feeling this way may not be obvious in the beginning.

On closer inspection you may find that someone has assumed that you will drop everything to go along with his/her plans and you realise your frustration is related to being taken for granted, a typical feeling experienced when your boundaries are not set. Setting boundaries means taking care of your needs before you can assist your friends and family members.

(2)Being used as a doormat

When you have poor boundaries you often feel taken advantage of, used or that your desires are unimportant.   The result of unclear boundaries and others not knowing where they stand with you is that there is a much greater risk of being used as a doormat.  It need not be malicious but if you never say no to anyone then you can understand that they will continue to ask for favours and ply you with work and requests because the message you send allows them to do this. If you speak up when asked to do something you are not happy with then others will be able to understand and respect your needs and limits. You have to respect yourself by putting those boundaries in place before you can expect others to respect you.

(3)Too much energy is put in too few rewards  

In a relationship with unhealthy boundaries or no boundaries, like feeling responsible for other’s happiness:   it feels like too much energy is being put in with too few rewards. This is because in this relationship you are doing the work, you are trying to please the other party and too little of that positive emotional energy is being reciprocated. The relationship becomes unbalanced and suffers.

You may also feel physically exhausted as your emotional and physical reserves are being depleted, with no functioning ‘top up’ system to replace these reserves

(4)Feeling guilty when you say ‘No’ and meaning  ‘No’ when you say ‘Yes’  

If you feel guilty all the time when you are honest about your feelings or you are always trying to hide your Nos in the yeses (people pleasing) the down side is that you cannot be open to people when you feel repressed by them and your frustration will show through passive aggression and resentment…

passive aggression could be in the form of sharp comments, cracking sarcastic jokes or make some subtle actions that let a little of your negative feelings seep out( like doing a favour half-heartedly). It may come out as an unexpectedly strong outburst to something seemingly minor.

Stress and depression is another downside to people pleasing… Remember stress is having more demands that you can handle…   If you have the constant feeling like you are too busy and doing everything for everyone else but yourself….   People Pleasing can turn into a vicious cycle of chronic stress and unhealthy behaviours

(5)An unhealthy relationship leads to co-dependency

Without healthy boundaries or with very weak boundaries, you simply cannot have healthy relationships. You give up a part of yourself to be available or accommodating. Or you become so entangled with another person and their needs (co-dependent behaviour) that you lose your own identity.

(6)Loss of identity

Acting against your integrity or values in order to please, not speaking up when you have something to say, Adopting another person’s beliefs or ideas so you are accepted. Not defining and communicating your emotional needs in your closest relationships can lead to loss of identity…

An enmeshed boundary can be summarised as follows: it feels like you are an extension of someone else. The other person makes the decisions; you go along with it. The other person makes demands; you meet these demands.

In a relationship with unhealthy boundaries or enmeshed boundaries your behaviour or opinion is seen as a direct reflection on the other person. You do not have the freedom of behaving according to your beliefs as your beliefs have to be those of the other person in the enmeshed relationship. Your behaviour has to meet with the approval of this other person. It is as if the other person is in control of your life and for various reasons you do not feel like you can stand up to this person. Often when there are unhealthy boundaries.

(7) Self-respect

When you have weak personal boundaries, every act of compliance, self-denial, or neediness chips away at your self-respect and the respect that others have for you. You are in a constant state of insecurity.

The sad irony is that we set weak boundaries believing our behaviour will win the love and respect of others. And other people will certainly take advantage of this willing nature. But their respect for you will diminish over time, undermining the love you hoped to maintain.

“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.”  ~Joan Didion

Food for thought

Setting healthy boundaries means that you make the decision to be your own person, you learn to say ‘No’ when you are asked to do something which goes above and beyond and would mean losing track of your own identity.

You stand up for your personal rights to make decisions without the undue influence of friends and relatives.

If you cannot go shopping with your mother because you have other important plans then you do not allow yourself to be convinced to change these plans, you stand your ground and offer your mother an alternate date.

Having a healthy boundary in a relationship means that each individual is able to be whole and separate from the other. Time together is enjoyed as it is not seen as a duty. Effort is put into the relationship and reciprocated because both parties feel respected and appreciated. If the other person chooses to have different views to yours then this is accepted, it is not seen as a reflection on you as the person is separate from you.


There is nothing wrong in saying NO (Healthy boundaries) Finale

Healthy boundaries which are the imaginary lines we draw around ourselves to maintain balance and protect our bodies, minds, emotions, and time from the behaviour or demands of others.

They provide the framework to keep us from being used or manipulated by others, and they allow us to confidently express who we are and what we want in life.

Personal boundaries allow us to be in the driver’s seat of our own lives. I also defined the 5 types of personal boundaries which are physical. Mental, Spiritual, sexual, emotional… I also mentioned the effects of poor boundaries: Resentment, lose of self-respect, frustration and many more.

(1)Change your perception

Begin with changing your perception that having personal boundaries is OK. It doesn’t mean you are selfish or unloving. It is both completely acceptable and absolutely necessary for healthy relationships. Understand that self-worth comes from defining your life as you want it to be, not from the acceptance or identity of others.


Sit down and reflect on how you have been allowing others to take advantage of you and how you might be accepting situations that are really unacceptable to you. Make a list of things that people may no longer do to you, say to you, or do around you. Decide how you need physical and emotional space. Define your values, belief system, and outlook on life so you have a clear picture of who you are and how you want to live. Get very clear on that.

(3)Tune into your feelings

Two key feelings in yourself that are red flags or cues that you are letting go of your boundaries are:  discomfort and resentment.

Resentment usually “comes from being taken advantage of or not appreciated.” It’s often a sign that you are pushing yourself either beyond your own limits because you feel guilty (and want to be a good daughter or wife, for instance), or someone else is imposing their expectations, views or values on you. When someone acts in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s a cue that they may be violating or crossing a boundary

(4)Learn how to say NO

Rather than avoid it altogether like not picking your calls or avoiding the person, it’s all about learning the right way to say no.


(a)If you are too busy to entertain a request or offer…  Let the person know your plate is full at the time, so he/she can hold off on this as well as future requests. You can reply by saying…  “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.” 

(b) Its common to get sudden requests for help when you are in the middle of something you can reply by saying “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something.  How about we reconnect at so, so and so time?”  

(C) Another gentle way of breaking “NO” to a person is by replying “I’d love to do this, but …”   It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea (of course, only say this if you do like it) and there’s nothing wrong about it.

 (d) If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, you can reply by saying “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.” This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”.

(e) If someone is pitching a deal/opportunity which isn’t what you are looking for, let him/her know straight-out that it doesn’t meet your needs you can reply by saying “This doesn’t meet my needs now but I’ll be sure to keep you in mind.” Otherwise, the discussion can drag on longer than it should.

(f) The simplest and most direct way to say no is saying “No, I can’t.”  We build up too many barriers in our mind to saying no. these barriers are self-created and they are not true at all. Don’t think so much about saying no and just say it outright politely. You’ll be surprised when the reception isn’t half as bad as what you imagined it to be.

(5)Make self-care a priority.

Make self-care a priority, which also involves giving yourself permission to put yourself first. When we do this, “your need and motivation to set boundaries become stronger; Self-care also means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honouring them. These feelings serve as “important cues about your wellbeing and about what makes you happy and unhappy.” Putting yourself first also gives you the “energy, peace of mind and positive outlook to be more present with others and be there” for them.” And “When  you are in a better place, you can be a better wife, mother, husband, co-worker or friend.”

(6)Be assertive.

Of course, we know that it’s not enough to create boundaries; we actually have to follow through. Even though we know intellectually that people aren’t mind readers, we still expect others to know what hurts us, since they don’t, it’s important to assertively communicate with the other person when they’ve crossed a boundary.  In a respectful way, let the other person know what in particular is bothersome to you and that you can work together to address it.

(7)Start small.

Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice. Start with close friends, family members and kids … If you have had weak personal boundaries for years, be aware that this change doesn’t happen overnight. Disengaging from the emotions and beliefs that led you to weak boundaries requires practice, and sometimes it requires the support of a counsellor. Remember it is a journey…


Believe in yourself and your value as a unique individual who is worthy of love and respect. Trust your instincts and feelings about what you do and don’t want in your life. No one knows better than you who you are and what you desire. Don’t allow others to define that for you. Practice self-confidence and self-love until it feels natural. Setting and requiring boundaries is a great way to practice this.

Food for thought

When you define and implement personal boundaries in your life, you will find that fear diminishes significantly. You will feel more empowered and self-confident because you are communicating your self-worth to those around you.  The more you practice holding fast to your boundaries, the more love, respect, and support you will find in your life.


What does it mean to set healthy boundaries?

Think of boundaries as rules and principles you live by when you say what you will or won’t do or allow in your life.  Life can’t exist without boundaries, even with your nearest and dearest like your kids, partners, parents and so on…..

If you have difficulty saying no, override your needs to please others,bothered by someone who is demanding, controlling, criticizing, pushy, abusive, invasive, pleading, or even smothering you with kindness, allowing or enduring unwanted touch,  it’s your responsibility to speak up.  Everyone has experienced boundary violations and this is why this topic is important for all of us

Healthy boundaries are meant to help us find safety.  It outlines where our mental, emotional, physical space ends, and where another person’s may begin.

When we have healthy boundaries, we take responsibility for our needs, thoughts, and feelings, and we allow others to have their own needs, thoughts, and feelings, without taking responsibility or needing to somehow change them.  When we honour our boundaries, we set limits, and take adult responsibility for our experiences.

Why should you care about healthy boundaries?

Setting boundaries is essential if we want to be both physically and emotionally healthy. Strong boundaries help maintain balance, self-respect and allow us to be interdependent in intimate relationships and life in general. A lack of boundaries is like leaving the door to your home wide open, anyone, including welcome and un-welcome guests can walk in without hesitation. Having rigid boundaries leads to loneliness and isolation and is akin to living in a fortress with no opening in sight.

Types of personal boundaries:

(1)Physical boundaries

Physical boundaries can include your body, your home, your work space, your purse or wallet etc.

These are the literal lines we draw when it comes to our physical interaction with others.

This could be about physically touching someone (a hug, hand shake, physical proximity when talking, etc.).

But also about the rules we have when spending time with someone (where, how long, and what to do or not do). It could be us determining if and how we will share our physical body and presence with others.

Examples: “It is not ok with me that you treat me this way”, “I am not ok being around you if you are going to behave this way”, or ” I do not feel comfortable sitting this close.”

(2)Spiritual Boundaries

Can we allow others to have their chosen spiritual life (or lack thereof), without feeling the need to change them, convince them of their wrongness, be aggressive, force, manipulate or judge them to see things differently?

When spiritual boundaries are weak or non existence it is so easy to engage with people or a person and get into an argument that you cannot win, or even be persuaded or manipulated into their belief system that may not be best for you. To have good spiritual boundaries you won’t need to be manipulated into a belief. You will learn more about it and decide whether this is something important to you.

Protecting your spiritual beliefs can be simply deciding who you talk to about your beliefs and spiritual practices how you allow others to interact with you regarding your/their beliefs.

The spiritual  boundaries we set for ourselves begins with our core values. These core values create who we are and what we do on a daily basis. Our true identity is built by what we decide we are going to believe over a lifetime. These central beliefs shape our choices in jobs, fun and even our mate.

(3)Emotional Boundaries-

These areas of boundaries protect our feelings. Our emotional boundaries include how we allow others to treat us, whether our emotions are respected & honoured, and how we treat others in return. This area of boundaries is also about protecting how others talk to us individually (name calling/put downs).

Healthy emotional boundaries serve two very good purposes. They keep us from imposing our emotions on other people, dumping endlessly on anyone who will listen to us (and then regretting it later). Emotional boundaries help us handle our feelings in appropriate ways.

Emotional boundaries also keep us from taking on the emotions of others who are spewing their emotional garbage… It also  what protect us from being manipulated by others through guilt and shame and fear. They help us not take on responsibility for someone else’s emotions.

(4)Mental Boundaries

This defines our thoughts and opinions allowing us to choose what we think about and to stop ourselves from thinking about other things.  Additionally, as we form opinions, we have freedom in how we analyse a situation, what information we integrate into this assessment, and what our resulting opinion will be.  Regardless of whether or not someone agrees with our opinion, it is ours to have and creates a distinction between us and someone else in our lives.  Maintaining your own opinion or value about something is one of the components that make you a unique and distinct person. These boundaries also enable us to reject thoughts and opinions being forced on us that are contrary to our belief system.

When you are talking to another person with intact mental boundaries, you can share opinions back and forth and have great discussions. No one feels forced to agree with the other person. No one is told their ideas are silly or stupid. However, there are forceful people who are not content to simply share ideas, or have a meeting of the minds. Instead, they (overtly or covertly) demand that you agree with them. They don’t even like it if you “agree to disagree.”

(5)Sexual boundaries

Sexual boundaries include boundaries about your sexuality, body, who touches you intimately (or how they touch you), comments that are sexual in nature, what your level of comfortability is with sexual behaviours, and how comfortable you feel touching others.  Sometimes we tend to think of sexual boundary violations as simply being coerced into sexual behaviours against our will.  While this is one aspect of a sexual boundary being violated, other examples include:  someone making sexual innuendos or comments that feel inappropriate, uncomfortable, or disrespectful;  sexual glances or having someone look at you in a sexual way that feels uncomfortable;  being sexualized or objectified in the workplace or by a friend or stranger;  having a working relationship with a professional (doctor, therapist, or health care professional) who uses the intimate nature of the professional relationship to lure a client into a sexual relationship, having a sexual partner coerce you into sexual acts that you feel uncomfortable with;  or receiving sexual emails, text messages or phone calls that are inappropriate and suggestive sexually.  These are only a few of the many ways our boundaries can be violated sexually.

Food for thought

“Good fences make good neighbours.”  Frost’s poem Mending Wall


Has self-doubt ever stopped you from doing something you longed to do?

That little voice in your head kept whispering…

“Who are you to even try to accomplish that?”

Whether you wanted to run a marathon, start a business, or go for a promotion, that little voice kept nagging at you that you’re not good enough.

But even before giving myself the chance, the soundtrack began to loop, and self-doubt kicked in.

“There’s no way you could be successful. Who are you to even try to do this?”

Use the following tips to fight back the self-doubt monster and reclaim your confidence today.

1. Recognise that What You’re Feeling Is Self-Doubt

You can’t get rid of something until you recognise that it’s there.

If you won’t admit that the main reason you’re not making your dreams happen is because you doubt yourself, you’ll struggle to break the habit. What may seem like an obstacle is most likely your self-doubt monster rearing its ugly head to justify why you can’t or shouldn’t do something

You must be mindful of how you feel. You must face the truth. By recognizing that self-doubt is holding you back, not your busy schedule, you’re one step closer to rediscovering your self-confidence.

2. Create a Self-Doubt Response System

Self-doubt is a negative emotion. Like any emotion, certain actions, ideas or frustrations can trigger it. For many, an idea that requires expertise they don’t yet have can trigger feelings of self-doubt and create a roadblock that seems insurmountable.

When you get overwhelmed or stressed, giving up can be easier than pushing through.

Setting up a system to deal with self-doubt triggers will help you recognize both the cause and solution to your self-doubt.

3. Rewire Your Brain

Old habits die hard, so remaining static is easier than working toward something. That’s why you likely find it easier to accept the negative thoughts that your self-doubt creates. To turn your self-doubt into a positive force, you must first be aware of your negative thoughts and then redirect them over time.

Consistency is key.

Every time you catch yourself thinking that you can’t do something or that you’re not good enough or smart enough, acknowledge those thoughts, and consciously replace them with the opposite as many times as it takes.

Eventually, your brain will default to positive thinking, turning every “can’t” into a “can” and every “won’t” into a “will.”

4. Show Self-Doubt that It’s Wrong

When we let self-doubt take over, we make excuses for our inability to realize our true potential. We use these excuses to prove our self-doubts right by not even trying to achieve anything worthwhile at all. In other words, we procrastinate and hide from the world until we are forced to take action, and then once we act we struggle to give it our best shot. So what can be done? The next step to eliminating self-doubt is to prove it wrong. It’s time to set your plans in motion and work toward small successes.

5. Use Other People’s Doubts as Motivational Fuel

It’s hard enough to change the way you think about yourself, let alone change the opinions of those around you tooWhen people don’t understand your journey, can’t relate to how you’re feeling, or don’t like your ideas, they may be quick to doubt you. But don’t take it personally. Most people only doubt you when you reflect a specific characteristic that they doubt in themselves. You’re simply a living, breathing reminder of their own self-doubts. Be kind, but don’t take what they say at face value.

6. Create a Positive Mantra (And Put it on Repeat)

Everyone needs a pep talk every now and then, so be your own cheerleader when putting your self-doubt to rest.

If you want to start a business, remember that kids have started businesses – and with less than you have.Create a mantra for yourself that shuts down the self-doubt. Your self-doubt is only as strong as you allow it to be.

What would you add to the list? What do you do to motivate yourself. Let’s talk ..


This book gives an insight into happenings in different individuals, homes, community, country which make up the world.

And it is also an eye opener to this present, the coming and  generation yet unborn.

A must have for every one, home, church, mosque, library, etc

Make your order now:
Available on Konga:

You can also download on Okada Books app or check the website for your copy:

Hard copies also available @ #2450


UTOPIA “where love meet nature

This is absolutely waw

Nuggets of reflectivity

This Valentines Day, we treat couples, lovers, friends, and families to a retreat in the serenity and nature-friendly ambiance of Shodex Gardens, and I mean mini-zoo-lots-of-flowers-and-trees-plus-a-swimming-pool-nature-friendly.

Hosted by the multi-talented Fyn Monky, #Utopiawherelovemeetsnature promises #humour, #goodmusic, #food, #drinks, and a #swelltime.

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Be part of something exquisite this Valentine. It’s affordable,fun and unconventional.

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